S3:E20 // Finding the Fuego
Thursday, February 3, 2022

Episode description: Laura interviews Adriana Oyarzun, effervescent co-founder of Oakland, California fitness studio Making Waves. A blend of Venezuelan and American cultures, Adriana has found through dancing her sense of home, her voice as a creative person, and her fuego — the inner light, heat, and magic she has to share with the world.

Show notes:

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Transcript:

Laura: This is Shelter in Place, a podcast about embracing the journey in a world forever changed. Coming to you from Oakland California, I’m Laura Joyce Davis.

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Laura: When I was eight years old, my mom signed me up for a hip hop dance class. Actually, it was called something else. This was the late 80’s, when at least in my elementary school circles, we still called it rap. I can’t remember what they called the class, but what I do remember is that in a room with a dozen other pre-teen girls, I was the only one who couldn’t seem to move.  I felt silly swiveling my hips and shimmying my shoulders as I flipped my hair the way my teacher instructed us to. My teacher was a curvy woman who moved like water. My pre-teen body was all angles and bones, solid and strong after years of gymnastics and waterskiing, but none of the elastic fluidity I sensed in my peers.

I can’t remember anymore if I asked to be signed up for that class, or if my mom did it in an attempt to expose me to something I might like, but I know it was the first and last time I took a dance class that didn’t include a partner.

The experience didn’t scar me—I don’t think it was my teacher’s fault that I wasn’t very good at dancing, and no mean girl comments resurface when I think back on those hours—but the feeling of the class, of the awareness that my body was somehow lacking in some quality that should be innate—is one that still occasionally resurfaces today. 


This is not to say that I don’t like dancing. I love dancing. My inability to learn moves quickly was probably the thing that kept me from being cast in the high school musical, but that didn’t stop me from trying. Even faced with the awkwardness of middle school, I’d shake my booty at every school dance. Give me a wedding, and chances are good I’ll be one of the first on the dance floor. I’ve always enjoyed moving my body. In an episode earlier this season called Dancing Saved My Life, I told the story of my love affair with swing dancing. Some of the best moments of this pandemic have been dancing around my living room with my kids.


But more than thirty years after that dance class, I’m still occasionally transported back to that hip hop class, to the girl who felt silly in her own body. It’s only a flicker now, one that I can usually push past, but still, it’s there. 


So today, I’m talking with someone who understands that struggle well.


Adriana: My name is Adriana . I was born in Venezuela. I was raised in Miami and Venezuela. So I'm this mix of Latina, Cubanita, ???, gringa. And I love dancing. 


Laura: Adriana grew up dancing—not in lessons or classes, but just dancing as part of her everyday life. 


Adriana: In Latin America, music and dancing and community is just, it's part of it. It's not like, oh, you're going to learn how to dance. It's like, we all dance, you know, you go to a quinceaños or like the sweet 16, and we're all dancing meringue and salsa and we're all trying to learn it as we go. And you're just in community dancing. It's a big, big, big, big part of who we are and where we come from. We just all dance. There's no right or wrong way to dance. You just dance. Everyone dances.  When you get to start walking when you're six months to la abuelita to a hundred is dancing. There's no expectation of, like, you're a bad dancer. You're a good dancer. You're no—you just dance. It's a plus if you're a good dancer, for sure. Pero it just is.


Laura: Adriana is an amazing dancer. Watching her move is nothing short of inspiring. But she says it wasn’t always that way.


Adriana: As a teenager, my dream was always to be, like, Janet Jackson's backup dancer. That was the coolest thing ever. And it's funny, cause I always told my mom, “why didn't you keep me in  dance classes? Why didn't you foster that?”


And she was like, “Adriana, you did  your first dance recital for ballet. All the little girls were following the choreo and you were like a little lost. Like, you didn't know the choreo, you were just  doing what the girls were doing afterwards.” 


I think I was really, really shy as a kid, and just, like, super distracted. And so I was probably going to ballet class not really learning the choreo and then like my own world. 


Laura: Adriana kept dancing anyway. She says she doesn’t have a lot of memories from those early childhood years in Venezuela, or of the years her family spent in Miami after her dad got a job there. What she does remember is that when she was 10, her parents got divorced. Her dad stayed in Miami and her mom took Adriana and her siblings back to Venezuela. 


Adriana: Which I say were the best years of my life.  I think at that point we had a green card so to keep it, we would have to fly to the states and spend technically six months in the states, and that's kind of how we also kept our language. We were speaking Spanish in Venezuela, and then we would come back to the states to spend summers and Christmases with my dad and it was all in English.


So I'm this mix. And I love the mix. I've lived pretty much half of my life in Latin America and half of my life in the States, which can also be a challenge. I am Latina, but sometimes for some Latina people I'm not Latina enough. And then also trying to co-exist in Anglo culture. There's things that I don't get, like I watch movies and I'm like, “why is everyone laughing? Like I so don't get that joke.” I'm like pero que paso???? And I think more and more as time passes, it's cool to see more people like me, where you were raised in a full-on Latino household where everyone was speaking Spanish and dinner was like, rice and beans and ???  but at the same time you are going to school and everything was (in) English. And it's nice we're becoming more of the normal, where there's more people having Spanglish conversations and feeling seen, and like, yeah, I get you. 


Laura: She remembers those years of living in Venezuela fondly, a time in her life when she was learning to embrace who she was through dancing in a new way. 


Adriana:  High school in Latin America is so much fun. It was honestly the best years. And when I say this, it was just like super innocent, genuine fun, of going dancing, going to the beach. Just this celebration of life. 


Laura: But the year before she graduated from high school in Venezuela, Hugo Chávez ran for president. Many Venezuelens thought that Chávez was a promising alternative to the corrupt two-party system that had ruled since 1958, but Adriana’s dad was immediately suspicious of Chávez’s close ties with Fidel Castro.

Adriana:  And my dad, who is Cuban, who had to leave Cuba when he was 12—he knew what was coming. He said, if Chávez wins, you guys need to leave as well. And we were like, “no, no, no, no.” I was 18, and I was graduating. He was like, “hey, just come for a year and practice your English.” So I graduated high school. I came to the states. And then that year Chávez won. And I haven't gone back. And that was 1999 


Laura: Adriana and I are close to the same age, but like most American kids at that time, Latin American politics wasn’t part of my education. Not until years later would I begin to understand how many Venezuelens left their home because of Chavez’s increasingly radical policies. 


Even now, it’s hard for me to imagine what it would be like to leave the country I’ve called home all my life and leave it, never knowing when or if I’d be able to return. 


For the next couple of years, Adriana lived with her brother in Gainesville, where he was going to college.


Adriana: I was so innocent and so green and I was so out of place. Like it was this tiny college town and people were obsessed with football and were dressing orange and blue, and I was like, que te pasando? Like I was so out of my element. I remember, going to clubs and there was like hip hop and people would dance and I was like, “what is this music? I don't get it.”  It was like a cultural shock. 


Laura: She lived with her brother in Gainesville for two years, and during that time she went to community college and started learning about photography. When her brother graduated from college, she decided to move back to Miami, where the rest of her family was living at the time.


Adriana: Miami is like this melting pot of people from everywhere around the world. And it was awesome. You know, it was like a little bit of Latin America, and I got to find my people. 


And I really got into photography at that point, and I found this amazing teacher and she really kind of guided me. She was like, wow, you're really good. And it was a group of us where she kind of took us under her wing. And she was pretty intense. It was like mini art school, where there was harsh critiques and prints being like ripped off—it was intense. It was like, are you sure you're gonna put that picture there? Are you sure you're going to print that? And you're like, Ay, Dios mio! But it was good. It was definitely a good foundation for art school.


Laura: Adriana also found a group of friends in Miami who shared her ties to Venezuela. One night they all went out dancing, and Adriana immediately noticed a tall guy on the dance floor.


Adriana: It was this big group of recently graduated kids that were from Venezuela, and a little Latino, a little Americano. And I say, there's nothing sexier than a man that knows how to dance, and Ronald is oh, such a good dancer. And we started hanging out as a really big group and it just kind of really slowly progressed, and you know, he's a super awesome dude.


I think having the same background with the Venezuelan culture and values yet we have experience of growing up in the states and having this ability to co-exist within two worlds and really understand it, it was just like, I get you. He says arepa con queso and I get it. You know, it's like we're able to speak and really understand each other. And he's a good dancer, which is amazing. 


Guys, if you're out there and you don't know how to dance, dancing is, like, key. I really think it is. Guys, guys, guys. I always say to my friends who have boys, teach them how to dance. You don't know how this builds confidence, right? For a guy to be able to be in his body and move his hips and move. And you know, it's pretty amazing. 


Laura: When Adriana found out she’d been accepted to a prestigious art school in Oakland called California College of the Arts, she was ready to go. She’d been moving around her whole life, and she felt ready to jump into this new adventure. But this time, the decision to move didn’t just affect her.


Adriana: You know, I think I've always been really independent, and I think seeing my mom go through like the crazy divorce and the whole thing, I've always been like, screw marriage. I don't believe in marriage. So when I got into art school, Ronald and I had been going out for like a few years and I'm like, “look, I got into art school, so I'm moving to California.”


And he was like, “what do you mean? But I want to go with you!” And I was like, “Si quiere si quieres venir ven. Sure. If you want to come, come. Dale.” 


We had never been to California and everyone was like, you're just moving? Like you're moving to Oakland and you've never been there? And I'm like, Yeah, dale, why not? Let's do this. And we moved to California to Oakland in 2005. 


Laura: Even though she’d never been to California and it was a country away from her family in Florida, she fell in love with the Bay Area and its blend of cultures that reminded her of herself. 


Adriana: As a photographer and as an artist, I've always explored the themes of home and displacement and identity and culture. So when I came to California, it was like this new life and this new way, talking about art, making art, taking pictures, connecting to a community that was creating really cool stuff. There were these amazing professors like Clarice Salton and Jim Goldberg, these rockstar photographers . . . just being able to study with them was pretty impressive.  


It also brought up missing home. I think seeing my dad having to leave Cuba, me having to leave Venezuela, or seeing my mom, how even though we're so many miles away from where we were born, we tried to recreate that with how we decorate our home, with our mannerisms, with what we eat and how we talk and how we express ourselves and how we move. Those tiny things that just give you clues of home and who you are.   The farther away you are from home, the more you try to kind of embody that culture. There's this sense of really wanting to claim that identity, like this is who I am. I am Adriana. Yo soy Cubano . . . . and that's who I am. Being really far from home and not having a community, it was like, what can I do that gives me a sense of home?


Laura: It was at that time, when she was searching for that sense of home in California, that Adriana realized that her greatest connection to home might be one that had been there all her life, no matter where she lived.


Adriana: Dancing and music has always been there, and I think dance and music and community makes me feel at home. I started going to the YMCA and taking Zumba classes. and I was like, yes, this feels so good. There's something that happens—especially because it's Latin music—I can close my eyes, and it's kind of like being a little girl in my grandmother's backyard, listening to ???, These are my roots. These are my values. And it had this amazing power where I could just show up to class, maybe not have had the best day, but the music would start playing and everything would transform. And I just got to be in my body. It’s amazing what moving your body and being able to just shut off your brain does. And I was able to really, really experience the power of it. And the more I did it, I just got into it. So little by little, I started just going to these Zumba classes and showing up and just leaving so happy. 


Laura: It was at one of those Zumba classes that Adriana met someone who would play a crucial part in making California home. If you’ve been listening, then you’ve met her too, in our December 2021 episode “Dancing Saved My Life.”


Adriana: Andreina and I actually met in a Zumba class. That's how we met. She came, she showed up, and she was like subbing, and I was like, oh, she's from Venezuela. Like I could recognize the Venezuelan accent. There's this weird thing that happens sometimes. You're like, “oh, you're from Venezuela? Oh, you’re from Venezuela. So we're friends. We're instantly friends.” Luckily in this case, we actually became really close friends. And then she started teaching, and I would just like show up to her class. And it was amazing. 


And we were able to create this really cool family with friends and community. And it became really important to create this friendship. And the more we were here, the more this became home. 


Laura: Three years after coming to California, Adriana graduated from art school, and she loved her life in Oakland. But as she started to look for jobs, she began to understand that the biggest barrier to feeling at home here was one she hadn’t expected: herself.


Adriana: When I graduated from CCA, you know, it's like this prestigious art school and, you know you graduate to become an artist, and I was petrified—like terrified—of failing. And I graduated in 2008, so the economy was like a disaster and it was not an ideal time. So I started doing bookkeeping. And people were like, why aren't you doing photography? And the idea of putting work out there  was terrifying, terrifying, so I didn't do it. I was just having these bookkeeping gigs and jobs, and by year two, I was like, I am going insane. I need to do my own thing. I can't do this anymore. And then I got a job at a photo gallery as a bookkeeper. {Laughs} I was in it, but not in it enough. 


Laura: Meanwhile, Ronald had his own ideas of what they needed to make California feel like home.


Adriana: Ronald was always like, “oh, we should have babies and the whole thing.” And I was like, “buddy, I don't know, like I'm too young. I want to go get my masters.”


So we were actually in LA and it was father's day weekend. My close, close, close friend Andrea was married to my brother, and they got pregnant. And she was like, “I really think this baby needs to have a cousin that's close in age, so you need to get pregnant.” And I'm like, “Ay, Andrea, no! I'm not going to get pregnant. ????” And then jokingly she's like, “I have a bunch of pregnancy tests at the house. You want to take one?” And I'm like, “yeah, fine, whatever.” Just to like kind of play along. “I'll take a pregnancy test.” 


I take a pregnancy test, and she's like, “you're pregnant.” Yo lego! Andrea! “You seriously peed on the stick? Like, what is this? Like, are you kidding me?” And she's like, “no, no, no. I swear. I swear, you're pregnant! Yo lego.” So then we go to the pharmacy and I said, “no, no, no. I want like new ones, the ones that you haven't touched.” And I remember buying two pregnancy tests and I took pregnancy tests at their house and I was fricking pregnant and I was like, “No lo puedo creer!” Which of course was like her biggest dream. And it was Father's day. And Ronald of course, the extreme Venezuelen dude that he is, he was riding like motorcross with his brother. 


So he comes to my brother's house and I'm like, “I've got a gift for you.” And he had been dying for us to have kids, cause he's like, “I want to be young and I want to do a bunch of things.” So I tell him, and it was Father's day. And I think I was 30. And I remember having like a total nervous breakdown of like, “I'm too young. I'm 30. What am I doing? No, no, no. I need more time without kids.” 


Laura: Adriana had spent her life up to that point moving and embracing the mix of experiences and cultures life threw at her, and so she embraced this one too. She was eight month pregnant in a birth class when she learned that since they weren’t married, her parents, not Ronald would be her primary contact if she had any complications during childbirth.


Adriana: I'm like, “Ronald, we need to get married.” It was a very pragmatic choice. So we went to city hall and then we got in the car and then we called our parents. “Hey, ????? Guess what we just did? Oh, we got married. Que? Ah okay, coolisimo! Like it was very unconventional. It's like, “Dale! Let's go, this is happening. Okay. Let's go!” And now we have Mia. She's 10.     


Laura: When Adriana was pregnant with Mia, Andreina was pregnant too. Their friendship continued as they became mothers, and their kids became friends too. 


Adriana: We had this friendship where we really enjoy dancing and we had kids at the same age.  She also does photography, which is crazy. My mom worked in travel and her mom also worked in travel. And it was just easy. It was just like, I get you. I see you. Dancing is fun. Let's keep on dancing.


Laura: Years passed and Andreina got pregnant with her second child. Through all of those changes, they kept dancing. Meanwhile Adriana was feeling more and more frustrated in her bookkeeping job and the photography she wasn’t pursuing.


Adriana: And then I got laid off from that job. And I was dancing. I remember I was in Andreina's class and she said, “well, I think you should just get certified and you should just do this Zumba thing.”


And I think she was pregnant. And she's like, “yeah, just do my songs and you'll come and you'll sub for me. And you'll be like my support, because I can't jump as high”—which was a total Iie. Andreina dancing pregnant is exactly the same as she dances right now.  


Then I started subbing for her and I started showing up and it was like, that was the highlight of my day. I would go to class and it felt like home and I got to make these friendships and it was just amazing.


Laura: Adriana had a second daughter, and she kept dancing. While she was getting more comfortable teaching Zumba, she was coming into her own as a photographer, too, finally building a business doing work she was passionate about. And then one day in March of 2020, Andreina called her to ask a favor.


Adriana: When the pandemic hit, the world was about to shut down, and she was like, “hey, can you help me live stream my class this Sunday?”


And Ronald being like super Mr. Techie guy, “Sure. Yeah. We'll figure it out.” We live-streamed that first class, and after that, we were like, “you want to do this tomorrow?” “Sure. Let's do this tomorrow. It will be like, what three weeks? Kids will be back at school?” “Oh yeah. It'll be like a vacation.” 


You know, the world was going through such a big shift, and no one knew what was happening. We were like in survival mode. We just had no idea what was happening or it felt like we were on this treadmill where like every day seemed like the same day. And you had to like, figure out homeschooling, and how would you work? And then the internet is down. We weren't leaving the house. 


And when I got to just turn on the computer and dance. There was no room for the chatter. Like I had to be present. I had to show up and I had to teach.


Her and I would talk, you know, several times a day, and she'd be like, “yeah, I was crying in my closet today.” “Oh yeah. I was crying in my room.” And dance for us, was that thing, that proudest joy, and just gave us a sense of calm.


So then we started dancing every day, right? So we got to connect with people all around the world, which was the coolest. We kind of started 

donation-based. So it's like, yeah, just Venmo me and we'll teach. 


I know for me, it was the motivation I needed every day to be like, “yeah. I'm going to be dealing with homeschooling and with having Ronald at home 24-7 and not being able to do my photography session. I get to dance and connect to this community that we've created.” 


And as time progressed and we were like, “oh no, this is like the new way of life.” We looked at ourselves and said, “I think we should get serious about this. How do we do this? And how do we have a bigger impact?”


Because we could see it was getting us through those really rough days. It was like that thing that it was just like, “okay, we're going to cry now we're going to dance for a full hour. And then we're going to feel so much better.” There are so many times when I went to teach during the pandemic and I would turn on the screen and I'll be like, “okay. Otra classe. Okay, here we go. I dunno how this is going to go.” And you know, by the second song I was like, “yes! This is what I needed!” I needed to move my body, but I also needed to connect with my people in my community, and also be like, today, it feels like a hard day, but we're going to get through this and hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.


And it's been a gift. We've created friendships with people from Europe, which we've never met in person yet. We've been able to have these really great connections. I think sometimes we underestimate what the power of community and movement is. 


Laura: Adriana and Andreina made their business official and called it Making Waves. The tagline you’ll find on the Making Waves website is this: Community, spreading joy, and giving back is what motivates us. They were putting out the joy and community they’d experienced through dancing, yoga, and meditation, and trusting that it would come back to them even at a time when they didn’t always have a lot to give.


I would have loved to have known about Making Waves during those early days of Shelter in Place. But even if I had, I might not have joined them back then. Because even though I love to dance, I’ve mostly stayed away from classes like the ones that Adriana and Andreina teach because I didn’t think I was someone who danced for exercise. Deep down I still felt like that little girl in the hip hop dance class, not connected enough to her body or the music to let myself feel free. 


The first time I showed up to a Making Waves class a few of months ago, I almost didn’t go. I’d had a really rough day and I was sure that my lack of skill and experience would be distracting to the real dancers in the class.


But almost immediately, I realized that this wasn’t just any Zumba class. One of the greatest gifts Adriana, Andreina, and the other Making Waves instructors have given me is to help me understand that there’s no prerequisite for showing up. I don’t have to be good at dancing, or have my life together. The message in every single class I’ve ever been to both online and in person, is come as you are. It’s the same message I’ve tried to communicate in every single episode of Shelter in Place. 


Watching Adriana dance, it’s hard to imagine that little girl who didn’t know the steps in her ballet dance recital. But she says that even after all of these years of dancing, a part of her can still connect to that memory. Part of what makes her so passionate about making sure that the people in her classes feel safe to be fully themselves is that she has to tell herself that message often.


Adriana: I love, I love, love, love, love, love being Latina and the Latina culture and that richness. But there's also these standards of what you need to look like and who you need to be. You know, Venezuela has this standard of what a woman should look like and I think this expectation of always looking put together and pretty, and you gotta be thin and you always gotta be like dressed up. There's this expectation that you need to look a certain way. And I SO don't meet those standards, like I don't have a six pack and I'm not like a size two. I'm just Adriana who loves to dance and loves to eat. 


And when I'm teaching, people are like,  man. She's so like secure in her body. And she's so confident. There's this perception, right? Like, oh my God, she's got it all figured out. And she's really good at moving her hips.  while I'm teaching. Yeah. But there's also struggle.   


I've always dealt with these insecurities, of not being enough and it freaking socks. This imposter syndrome is not fun. I wish there was  a button where I could just  press and it would go away, but  like, it doesn't exist.  


You know, talk about imposter syndrome. The more and more I started doing my own classes, it's really hard, you know, when people have someone that they like, it's like, no, I don't want to take your class. You're a little bit too Chacha. You're a little bit too intense. You move your hips too much. I can't do it. And that has been something that I've struggled with.   You want everyone to like you, right? You want everyone to come to your class. You want everyone to think that you're great. And the reality is,  not everyone is for everyone.  


I've been teaching for six years now. It's easier for me to digest that. But at first I was like, pero, why don't people want to come to my class? What am I doing wrong? What do I need to do to appeal to them? I would tweak my classes or my dance moves and I'd be like, no, no, no, wait, I'm not being honest to myself. Like, I'm not enjoying it. And I think that's something that, with my Cubanness, Latinas, sometimes my rawness I need to shake my hips more. I need to like, woo hoo. And he asked me it up and  sing and that is who I am.   


And for some people it's like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, too much singing too much screaming, too much shaky, shaky, shaky, you know? And, and now it's okay. You know, if they're a smaller classes are okay, but the people that are there, then they're there because they like it. And it's something that I have struggled with. 


It's really fun to have a packed studio versus like going to a class and having five people and be like, okay, let's do this. The energy is different and it's hard to not take it. it's hard to be like, what am I doing wrong? 


But I think surrounding yourself with people that see you and that want to support you in your growth is huge. You know, you don't have to be surrounded by people that make you feel bad. No, it's not necessary 


And I think the more you hone into your own voice and my own yumminess, which I love then it's like people that get you and see you and understand where you're coming from are like, yeah, I want to go to her class. And then there's some people are like, mm, no, she's not for me.  And it's okay because , there's Andrina or there's Taleo, there's other people and everyone's got their people. 


Laura: This was deeply comforting to me, to hear that my friend who seems more goddess than human to me has feelings of not being enough just like I do. 


Those feeling of being both too much and not enough that Adriana mentioned are deeply familiar to me. I’ve gotten better at accepting that not everyone will love me or my podcast or my style of teaching or coaching or writing, but it’s never fun when you realize that no amount of changing yourself or your methods will make someone like you who is determined not to.  


One of the gifts that podcasting has given me is that it’s connected me to the parts of myself that make me me. It’s helped me find my own magic.


One of the people who has helped me to understand that is Adriana. A week after we met and I mentioned offhand that I had a podcast, she sent me a video message telling me that she’d started listening to Shelter in Place . . . and had listened to all 100 episodes of season 1. She said she had just started season 2 and was in tears because of how moved she was by the story.


It was the beginning of what has become a beautiful friendship. I can’t count the number of times she’s sent me messages like that first one, encouraging me to keep going on the hard days. She’s often the first person I hear from when a new episode comes out, encouraging me and cheering me on and telling me that she can see my magic.


She’s seen me when I’ve lost my magic, too. She’s heard my tears when my insecurities and discouragement have overwhelmed me, when I feel like I want to give up. Somehow—incredibly—she’s able to remind me of my magic even then. It’s the same encouragement I feel from her in every Making Waves class, that flame that reminds me of my own fire. 


I think ultimately


 we all want to belong. You know, we all want to feel like we are enough. And like we are seen, 


We're all going through our own insecurities of not feeling enough of not feeling like.


We're doing enough. Like we are enough, like we're not seeing, or like our feelings, aren't valid and it's this daily and constant struggle and it's hard. And I think ultimately if we're able to surround ourselves with people that see us, that like really, really, really, really, really see us and that you can text or call and be like, man, I'm having a rough day.


 And that they can just, you know, text you or send you a video message saying like, I get it. I see you. And this is hard is huge, it's really huge when you get to connect with people where you don't have to pretend that everything is okay, where you get to be real and talk about your struggles and your insecurities yet, they're there to remind you of your magic, right?


Because I really, really, really, really believe that everyone has magic


and I think most of the times 99.9, nine, 9% of the time we focus on what we're lacking, right? all that chatter, that voice that we have in our heads of just like, I'm too fat. I'm too tall. I don't have enough money. I don't have the resources. I don't have this. I don't have help. I've got too much debt. I've got too many student loans I've got. Right. 




But if we're we're able to flip it and we can be like, I'm really good at connecting with people and making them feel comfortable in front of the camera.


I have a lot of fun dancing and I get to host a really fun class.  If everyone's able to connect to that  and flip the sentence where we are reminding ourselves of our own magic, and even though I'm saying this, let me tell you, I struggle with my insecurities and my imposter syndrome. There's always that voice


and it's hard,


It feels really good 


to have an hour where I just get to feel amazing, like what I'm doing.


When I get to dance,


it's like, for those 60 minutes that I am teaching, I am definitely a different version of Eliana.


And it's, it's amazing.


It was really good. It's like the superhero version of myself where, the extra pounds or the insecurities don't exist,  and I get to be like a hundred percent myself and I got to be loud and I get to move my hips in the way that feels really, really good.


And I don't need to think about anything else. I get to just be in my body, I'm just being the best version of myself.


Most of the time,  when I'm not dancing or doing a photo session, I'm usually in my head and I'm, questioning myself and I'm questioning my work.


And I think that's the one thing soon back in dance has given me, like the moment I'm teaching a class. And I started thinking about the grocery list. I'm going to mess up because I'm not fully present. So it's forced me to, to be in it.  I'm in the flow, and it's magical and it's so, so, so, so guide and I get to experience it  when I'm teaching or when I'm doing a photo session, I get to just be in it,  


 there is no insecurity. There is no self doubt and I'm not even thinking about it. I'm just doing. It's this power of music of community that, you know, it's amazing. 


The fact that I get to do things that I love every single day is a huge gift 



Laura: It’s a gift that she’s trying to pass along to her two daughters, to help them find their fuego and know that they’re enough. She thinks a lot about what they’re taking from this, especially in this season of life where she is an entrepreneur working both as a photographer and a zumba instructor, trying to keep both businesses running in a pandemic and still be a good mom. 


Adriana: 


I was having a conversation with a friend and she's a photographer and she is also doing really well.


And she was saying, you know, I'm worried that I'm working so much,  and I hear that, but I think we're also teaching our kids to find their voice teaching them and showing them that their voice and their feelings and their dreams are really valid and they're really important 


 I teach a class on Saturday and there is this super, super cool girl that comes to dance.


Ellie, if you're listening, you are amazing.   


    Ellie and I think connected like the power of dance and what it does. So she's been coming to my class and 


she teaches next to me when I'm dancing, which is amazing. So my girls and Ellie have become really close friends. So the fact that Ellie is dancing with me means that sometimes 


Mia and Nina join in the class, and sometimes I'm like, is it okay that I'm shaking my hips in this way in front of my girls?


I was like, is this bad parenting? I don't know about this. I was like, Good. Right.  And most of the people are like, no, this is actually  really important 


We have this idea of what we should look like, how we should move, what's appropriate, what's not appropriate.


And when you get to come to class and you just get to move your body,  when you get to see everyone else interpret the move in their own way, Ah, it's the best, because then you get to really see like, oh, her guard is down. Oh yeah. She's closing her eyes. Oh yeah. She's grooving through it.  Cause that's it, we all bring our own foible to class.


  And when we got to see that, like, oh, my  are different and we can celebrate each other and we're not in competition. One is not better than the other. We're just here to support each other. And we're here to have fun. You want me to support you that you want me to lift you up?


I'll lift you up, I want you to grow and I want you to grow. So, so, so, so big. Take me on that.  


 And I think we're also showing our kids No, I'm going to move my body because it feels good. And it reminds me what it is to be mean and to be in my body and be a woman.  You know, the yumminess of it,   so if you've ever taken my class, you understand the yumminess, but it's just like, it is so, so, so, so, so yummy when we just shut off the brain, turn on the hips and just do what feels right.


What feels good?  The more we get to connect. Or be in the flow or be in our bodies. Then it's kind of like, we're connecting to our voice. 


  We get to set our own rules and we get to draw outside the lines and we get to create our own mold of what we want our life to look like versus following someone else's mold. 


Who made that mold, right?


let's create our own mold 



Laura: This past Saturday I went to that class Adriana is talking about. I knew Adriana’s girls would be there too, so I convinced my two older kids to come with me.


My daughter Grace is seven, and it was the third time she’d come to that class with me. I could tell she felt shy about dancing. I could see the tug of war going on with her even as a seven-year-old. She was trying to decide if it was okay to not be perfect, if she could give herself permission to make mistakes or miss the beat or not know what was coming next.


But this time around, it was different. Maybe it that it was Ellie’s birthday, so there were other kids dancing there, too. Grace got up front and danced with Ellie. It was obvious how much fun she was having. I watched her giggle as Adriana told us all to embrace our “yumminess.” It still makes me giggle to say that, to even think that. And also, I love it.


You show up to class and it's kind of, like we're giving you permission to just , be in your body and take time for yourself.


And we need that reminder. Right?   as working moms and wives and partners, and as just people in the world, there's always this, like I need to do this and I need to show up for other people and I need to go grocery shopping and I need to do the laundry and I need to cook and I need to go drop off and pick up, where are we?


Right. Like we forget to nurture ourselves. 


It's kind of like when you're on the airplane, right? Put the oxygen mask first.   




People have this idea, like when I go to a dance class, I need to be a really good dancer and I need to be coordinated


. I need to be  there's all these things that we need to be. No, no, no, no, no, , 


   Having that empathy, and compassion for others, but being able to be vulnerable,  be in your body and maybe it'd be like a little silly and a little ridiculous.


What does that feel like? Oh yeah. You know, let's do this with our hips. 




When you just get to show up and be you and connect to your magic or be reminded of what your magic is, is huge.


 the goal of my class.


Is, I just want you to leave happier than you came in 


Every single person that comes to my class.  that's the experience that I want them to have.   


There is no need to do the single, single double, perfectly, or a side of sour medic. No,   I just want you to show up and I want you to move your body and I want you to feel good in your body.


And I want you to connect with your joy and I want you to smile and maybe close your eyes and leave happy, 




I also feel really fortunate to be surrounded by people that love me that remind me, it's okay to have a bad day and. 




That's another thing that my parents taught me between my mom and my dad.


They probably know all of Venezuela, all of Miami, like they're all about making friends. And I remember them saying this, 


it's better to have one good friend than $1 million. And I was like, they're crazy. What do you mean? $1 million, one friend. Now, now as an adult in my forties, living really far away from home  




  who has been able to create a family away from home. I can see the power and the truth in that sentence,  it's that one friend that's gonna remind you.


Of your worth.   




 It's that one friend that's gonna, give you a hug on a bad day. It's that one friend that's gonna pick up your kid when you can't make it to school, you know, and I'm, Rena has been that one friend so many, so many, so many times, you know, like I would have never dreamed that seven years ago, meeting this fellow Venezuelan dance lover would take us to where we are today.


having started our own company and doing the things that we're doing. 


we're really aware of how fortunate we are to have this community that we've been able to foster and, we're able to help each other out on bad days.




 So part of making waves has been that we've recently implemented is a community of networks. we want to see everyone grow. We want to see everyone reach their dreams and go far, far, far beyond.




We're trying to create and grow a community and create this sense of consciousness and wellness and just of authenticity and seeing each other through this crazy time. Right. Cause we're all adjusting to this new way of life.


  So how can we all grow? 


  How can we support you? How can we elevate your voice? How can we spread the message that we're doing?


  that's ultimately what we want to do. And we want to have an impact. You know, what, making waves a really big part of our business model is giving back, 


To the people that are in need. And the fact that we've been able to donate, $27,000 plus because of this community is huge. You know, we're able to help people get meals or, housing or education or people that have gone through natural disasters.


And it's all thanks to our community you know, if people wouldn't show up to class or keep on sharing about making waves, this wouldn't exist. So we always say it's a collaboration and it's a community. 


Laura: When I hear Adriana talk about those early pandemic days and the business they created on the spot because their community need it, and how even two years later the work continues out of that original desire to connect with and bring joy to others in a time when life felt hard, 

I’m struck by how similar it is to our Shelter in Place origin story.


While Adriana and Andreina were live streaming those first classes, I was writing and recording my first episode, not thinking beyond the moment, just looking for a way to connect to others and find my voice.


I had my own days of crying in the closet, feeling defeated by my failed efforts at homeschooling or stressed about money after Nate lost his job.


But every day that I put my words out into the world—and especially on the days when friends or family members reached out to let me know they were listening—it gave me courage to face another day. It kept me in the moment. It helped me to keep moving even in a time when I was stuck in my home. On the good days, it helped me find my magic, my fuego, my fire.



---

Support Credits:


As always, if you listen to the very end of the episode, you’ll hear Shelter in Place outtakes, our little easter egg to thank you for sticking around. 

But first we’d like to thank {some of/one of} our newest supporters . . . 

End Credits:


The Shelter in Place music was created by Chase Horsman at Reaktor Productions. Additional music and sound effects for this episode come from Storyblocks. Melissa Lent was an assistant audio editor for this episode. Nate Davis is our creative director, Sarah Edgell is our design director, and Melissa Lent is our project manager.

Until next time, this is Shelter in Place. I’m Laura Joyce Davis.

And now if you’re still listening, here’s a little outtake

OUTTAKE: